Wow, what a week! Since the beginning of my mission, I have been able to sense the adversary trying hard to stop this work.I have seen old priests show up before baptismal interviews, I have seen strong individuals be weakened through doubts, and I have seen "Golden" friends use their agency poorly. As sad it has been to see such situations and to see how hard the adversary is working on these people strengthens my testimony of the divinity of this work. We can all share stories - those personal or those of someone else - where they experience hard times before something really good happened. One of my favorites was hearing people loose their keys before going to the temple..or well you get what I mean. This principle is the best way to describe this last week.
Miracle Margit just happened to need to fill in for a colleague for the next two weeks making it impossible to meet with us. Margit does need some time as far as baptismal preparation so the March 16th date will not be happening. At the same time, Margit is in such a fragile state and is trying to sort out all that she has experienced. The adversary is playing hard and everyone can see and sense it.
We went over to Angie's and she was completely different. Her children had been sick the last week and so she had not read the scriptures that week and it was so apparent. Her entire demeanor was different, she was unhappy, and confused. It was mind-blowing the difference. The adversary had used this to his advantage and as a result had coupled it with her husband's theoretical explanations that get Sister Jaynes real happy. I am logical too, but sometimes these theories are just not logical. But, that is another topic. So to summarize things, it was a hard week. It was hard to experience so many miracles the week before, and then slowly see it all fall apart.
Like our Father in Heaven always does, He sends us light when we are in the darkness. He expects us not to jump ship when things are not going exactly as planned. He expects us to keep going, keep believing, and look for the light. This light came not at once this last week. It came piece by piece. But at the end, I was able to look back and see where I had been and where I needed to go. This light came as I talked with a member expressing how she had too felt the adversary trying so hard here in Munich to stop the work...and then she expressing her gratitude for us missionaries and then her testimony that we just have to be tougher and work harder. I received more light as our friend Tanja entered the waters of baptism on Saturday and described her feelings of being free. Additional light came as I was sick on Saturday night with food poisoning and praying that I could go to church and waking up Sunday weak, but able to go to church. I realize this last light seems silly, Sister Jaynes, you were sick...you should have stayed home. I agree...in normal life, I probably would have. But you would have prayed to be healthy too, if you had fasted the week before for a miracle to happen in a husband, and then have the impression that this husband would be at church that day. Seeing this man hesitantly walking in the church with his wife and kids and then lighting up to see you makes things all worth it. The crowning experience with light, was as priesthood holders laid their hands on my head and gave me a blessing. A blessing from heaven. Including things our Heavenly Father only knew I needed.
Jesus Christ has several names, one being The Light of the World. I testify of His light, which we ALL need. He lives and He loves us with a perfect love. I read this quote this morning and it fit perfectly to my recent experiences... "Sometimes we forget that in pre-mortality we fought alongside the Savior in defense of the Father's plan of moral agency. And we WON!" There were times this last week when I forgot this when being in the dark. But as I looked to the light, I remembered how true this was. We are on the Lord's team. He is on our right hand and our left hand and His angels are around us to bear us up. The fight goes on today. We just have to keep going. See the light and trust Him.
Ich habe euch GANZ DOLL LIEB!!!!
XOXOXO
Schwester Jaynes
John 8:12 ¶Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.
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